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DABDA

from Silent Reply by Kevin Dorff

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lyrics

It gets hard to sleep
When dreaming of you.
Last year you seemed pretty clear,
Thought I saw you too.
But memories fail me again,
I tug at loose threads,
I staple your fragments,
And I say things you’d have said.
They say it’s called DABDA,
I said, “That’s not a word.”
“Well, actually it’s five,” “Yeah, no shit,
This, that, and the third.”
I’m not all that hungry again.
I skip meals like stones.
I raincheck a cry sesh
For the next time I’m alone.

Somewhere in Scotland,
You got out of your car.
There were sheep in the road
Is about how far you could see,
And I can’t help but picture you laughing.
We went to Wyoming
For a couple of weeks.
And we watched The Birdcage,
‘Cause I hadn’t seen it yet.
I said, “You’re my first real gay friend.”
You said, “Yeah, I can kinda tell…”
We snowmobiled through Yellowstone.
We drove like maniacs,
Like the park was our personal racetrack,
And we were Dale fucking Earnhardts.
Still, it feels too convenient
To say we were friends,
Cause you had a whole lot of friends
And acquaintances,
Some of whom knew you much better than I did.

Has it happened yet?
Are my eyes inside my chest?
Well, yes, I guess
Things make a bit more sense.
You’re not a ghost.
You’re just some guy I used to know,
Knocked dead in the road
By a bloke who could’ve slowed down.

I'm in the deep end of my DABDA,
A swimming pool of shit.
I'm in the deep end of my DABDA,
Stuck below the surface

Take off your coffin.
Walk through my mind.
Show me you’re not really gone.
This time I’ll try to believe it.

credits

from Silent Reply, track released September 16, 2022

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Kevin Dorff Brooklyn, New York

Kevin Dorff is a songwriter and playwright from Des Moines, IA. His debut record, “Silent Reply” considers the ways people we have known live in us beyond death. Inspired by the novels of Rachel Cusk, the paintings of Alice Neel, and the lyricism of songwriters like Craig Finn and David Berman, Silent Reply is a series of elegies steeped in 90s indie and folk rock. ... more

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